


click.

by IIzakuraII



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dialogue, Gen, audio journal, just a fyi, mermista goes from 'why am i doing this?' to a full blown talk show host, projecting and venting onto mermista? yes., some text might be in this., usually for actions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28063368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IIzakuraII/pseuds/IIzakuraII
Summary: Mermista makes an audio journal of her everyday life.
Relationships: Adora & Mermista (She-Ra), Catra & Mermista (She-Ra), Lonnie/Mermista (She-Ra), Mermista & Sea Hawk (She-Ra)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 12





	1. day 1: 11 days until christmas.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mermista talks about the death of her mother and relationships.
> 
> TW: Death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics = Hindi.

_Click._

"Ugh. I didn't want to do this any of this audio jorunal shit. My therapist begged me to do this because of 'coping' and speaking out. Oh, you didn't know? My mom died six years ago. She was going out shopping with her friends. Gave me a kiss on the forehead and never saw her again. None of us reacted well. Of course we didn't react well. If someone died in your family, nobody would react well. My dad just took it worse. The reason I'm in therapy is because we got into an argument. An argument about me not missing her. How I was emotionless to any feelings. So, he put me into therapy... I do not like it one bit. She's probably gonna take the recorder and show all her little friends.

Anyways, coping. I got friends, you got friends, we all got friends. I got a bunch of lady friends and guy friends. I didn't use gf because my dad is homophobic. If the world gave you a dollar every time I had to fake my date, you would be rich. I do have an official gal-pal named Lonnie. I call her Lons for short. She calls me 'baby' whenever I'm down, her lips are soft, she strokes my hair, head kisses, etc. I just love her so much. Thank you, Sea-Hawk...

Pretend you never heard that. 

When my mom died, my friends comforted me. They did everything in their power to cheer me up. The thing I liked about them comforting me was the fact they never said that 'Be Strong' shit. That's the worst advice ever. 

'Hey, the person who birthed you, fed you, took care of you just died. I know you literally had all your memories with her but stay strong!' It's just so stupid. I hate it. Say that shit to me and I'll tell you to get divorced at your wedding. 

Sorry about that. I mentioned Sea-Hawk in here. He was the one who suggested that I ask Lonnie out. Sea-Hawk isn't dead. Was is past tense. He's very much alive. We used to date but we broke up. I'm dumb. I'm dating Lonnie now. Of course we broke up or that would be cheating. Jesus, I'm so fucking dumb. Sorry. I'm dating Lonnie and I broke up with Sea-Hawk. I forgot when I broke up with Sea-Hawk. He always gotta remind me. Imagine asking me how many years it's been since you broke up with your ex and my dumbass replies with 'I forgot'. 

Sea-Hawk is protective over everyone. He's really protective over the ladies. He still calls me cute names like 'Dearest' or 'Princess'. Lonnie doesn't mind. It's not that I like them. It's corny actually. He sings these 1700's Sea Shanties and tells the most fakest stories ever. He never drinks at parties because someone's gonna need a ride home and he can't let someone drive themselves home. There was a time where one of my friends went to a party. Her name was Adora. Stop using past tense, Mermista! Her name is Adora. She got drunk that night and tried to drive herself home. Nothing happened because Sea-Hawk drove her home. Had trouble due to him not knowing her address. Sea-Hawk didn't shame me for dating a woman.

'As long as you're happy, I'm happy, my dearest." He didn't think it was unnatural or a sin. He just accepted me. That's why he's the only ex who actually stayed my friend.

Thank you.

To my therapist, don't let ANYONE and I mean, ANYONE listen to my recordings. Don't tell my dad anything. Don't tell him I got a girlfriend. He'll kill me. Just don't tell him anything. I don't care if it's concerning or not. Don't. Tell. Him. Anything.

 _Merry Christmas._ Merry Christmas."

_Click._


	2. day 2: rocking around the christmas tree.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mermista and her dad have a talk while decorating a Christmas tree.
> 
> TW: Manipulation

_Click_.   
  
"I'm celebrating Christmas without my mom again. I've been doing this for the past six years now. I just want to stay at home for Christmas. It's not that special anyways.You just get presents, food, and leave. Lonnie's mom asked if I wanted to come over. I wanted to say yes but my dad would flip out and start talking about how I'm so emotionless and I would leave him to rot. He likes to say that I don't love him anymore because I left for one second. I love him, I really do. He just likes to say bullshit when he doesn't get his way. It's so annoying-"   
  
_[A door opens]  
  
"Mermista, can you help with the tree?"   
  
"I will in a moment. Be patient."   
  
"Your mother would have not liked this attitude. She would have been very sad to hear what you are saying to your father."   
  
"I just said that I'll help you in a moment. I'm doing something."   
  
"What are you doing that is so important than helping your own father set up a tree? Do you not love me anymore?"   
  
"I do! I just want to finish something."   
  
"You do not love me anymore. A real daughter would help her father. Not sit there and slouch. Your mother would be disappointed in you."   
  
"I'm going to help you set up the tree. Okay? Do you want red ornaments? Green? I love you, alright?"   
  
"I love you, my daughter."   
_

* * *

_"I thought you were helping? Are you not, dad?"  
  
"I am."   
  
"Thank you."   
  
[A small moment of silence and the sound of ornaments being hung up on a tree.]   
  
"Mermista, do you care about your mother dying? You haven't shown any emotion yet."   
  
"I do care."   
  
"Why haven't you been crying? Every girl I know cries at a funeral. You haven't. If I die, will you cry?"   
  
"I will."   
  
"You're going to be a housewife when you get older.   
  
"Who says I'm becoming a housewife?"   
  
"I am."   
  
"If I leave, are you going to take care of yourself? I can't always be here taking care of you. You're 46, you're healthy. I can't always baby you."   
  
"You're the one who's babying me. I didn't ask you to 'baby' me. You chose it yourself."   
  
"I didn't want to baby you! You don't do anything around here and always expect ME to do the work."   
  
"You are 16. Those are your responsibilities."   
  
"My responsibility is taking care of a grown man who doesn't even know how to wipe a counter!? I'm 16! I should be doing things the other girls are doing!"   
  
"I'm not raising 'other girls'. I'm raising Mermista. Your mother would be disappointed in you. You're not being a good daughter to me. If you're treating your own father like this, imagine how you're going to treat your husband? You'll treat him like a peasant. Your mother would want you to treat me better. She would dislike the way you're treating your father. You should be ashamed of yourself, Mermista. Who yells at their father like you just did? For shame."   
  
"I... I didn't mean to yell at you. I just got mad at... myself for saying that. I'm sorry."   
  
"Are you really sorry? Do you even love me anymore?"   
  
"Yes, I love you. I'm sorry about what I said. Please forgive me."   
  
"Should I? You are rude to me."   
  
"Listen, I'm sorry about everything I said. I'll try to stop being emotionless, I'll clean up and not complain. I know I'm disappointing Mom. I'll stop. Can you please accept my apology?"   
  
"Do you understand that you were in the wrong?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"I accept your apology."   
  
"Thank you." _

* * *

_[There is a sound of footsteps walking onto the carpet floor, a door being shut and locked, a bed blanket, and sniffling and crying.]_

"Of course I left the fucking recorder on."

_Click._


	3. day 3: a little bit of love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mermista introduces someone new to the recorder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a wholesome one after last chapte

_Click._

"What do I say?"

"How about a Hello?"

"Hi."

"You wanna introduce yourself?"

"I'm Lonnie."

"Okay, that's my girlfriend, Lonnie. She's a living sour patch kid-"

"I'm not!"

"My bad. The smallest sour patch kid-"

"That's why I'm big spoon and you're little spoon."

"But, who comes up to me asking for cuddles?"

"This is unfair."

"Nope, totally fair."

"No more kisses for you. Your kissing rights has been taken away."

"Your cuddling rights has been taken away as well. No more cuddles from me."

"Can I take a right back?"

"Nope."

"Now?"

"Nope."

"Just a kiss?"

"Alright. Just one." 

_[There are sounds of kisses on a cheek. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, and many more. All placed by Lonnie.]_

"That was wayyy more than one."

"I know."

"You want me to cuddle you, don't you?"

"Mhm."

"Ugh, fine."

_[Bed sheet and blanket are being ruffled. It stopped when Mermista and Lonnie found the right spot.]_

"Are you staying tonight?" 

"My dad is gonna flip. I'm not going to stay long."

"Can you stay here until I fall asleep?"

"I can."

"You're the best girlfriend I could ever ask for."

"You're the best sour patch I could ever ask for."

_[Lonnie snickers.]_

"Am not."

_"I love you."_

"What was that?"

_"I love you."_

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"You wanna say something before I turn it off?"

"Goodbye, recorder."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah."

_Click._


	4. day 4: when you're mermista greene.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mermista watches The Prom and her father is not happy about it.
> 
> TW!!!!!: Abuse, homophobia, and manipulation.

_Click._

"I just watched a bootleg version of The Prom. One of my favorite musicals right now. I relate to Alyssa Greene so much. Like, yes, being in a relationship is hard when your parents are literally homophobic. Oh my god, I love her so much. She's literally me. The whole cast is so perfect in their own little ways, the songs. I love the songs so much. Especially the last one. It's sooo catchy. I need to shut up before I rewatch it..."

_[A remote clicks. The musical is starting again.]_

"And my dad isn't home so I can do whatever I want!"

* * *

_[Mermista squeals.]_

"I love them so much. They just wanna go to prom and the school is ruining that for them. Alyssa Greene, marry me please."

_[A door opens.]_

_"Who are you marrying?"_

_[The movie pauses.]_

_"Nothing, just talking to myself."_

_"What are you watching?"_

_"A movie. It's just ending though."_

_"Restart it. We can watch it together."_

_[There is sound of the remote being pushed to back of the bed and buried in the blankets.]_

_"I don't know where the remote is. I forgot where I had it."_

_"You forget everything. You know where the remote is. Stop lying."_

_"I don't. I'm not lying."_

_"Mermista, tell me where the remote is."_

_"I don't know."_

_[The bed shakes and Mermista screams. It sounds like Mercia is holding down Mermista by squeezing her hands to the point where she can't move.]_

_"WHERE IS IT!?"_

_"I DON'T KNOW! PLEASE GET OFF OF ME!"_

_"TELL.ME WHERE IT IS!"_

_"YOU'RE HURTING ME! GET OFF, PLEASE!"_

_"YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME WHERE THE REMOTE IS!"_

_"IT'S UNDER MY BLANKET IN THE BACK OF MY BED._ PLEASE LET ME GO! YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

_[Mermista falls off the bed. Meaning, Mercia let her hands go. There is the sound of Mermista grabbing the recorder, running, the opening, locking, closing of a door, a tub being entered, and a bathroom echo where Mermista cry is heard.]_

* * *

_[There is a soft knock on the bathroom door. She's too shakey to answer it. The door gets unlocked. Mermista's breathing gets heavy.]_

_"Mermista? Are you okay? I want to talk to you."_

_[Mermista tries to quietly move the shower curtains.]_

_"My daughter? Can we talk?"_

_"Mermista?"_

_"Mermista."_

_[Silence.]_

_"MERMISTA!"_

_[There is a loud bang on the wall. Mermista whimpers. The shower curtain is open.]_

_"There you are. I want to speak with you. Is that too much to ask for?"_

_"N-No."_

_"Great. Mermista, I took away your TV. The movie I just watched was unnatural and disgusting. I do NOT want you to watch that ever again. It's unholy."_

_"Why did you grab me?"_

_"You were trying to harm me. I had to hold you down."_

_"You got mad because of a remote."_

_"No, dear. You were the one to get upset about the remote. I was all calm."_

_"I was crying."_

_"Of anger. You wanted to hurt me."_

_"I didn't!"_

_"You did. You blacked out.when you were hittting me."_

_"I didn't blackout or anything. You hurt me. I was screaming."_

_"Go to your room, Mermista. Now."_

_[A run to a room, a closing and locked door, and Mermista crying is all heard.]_

"I hate it here."

_Click._


	5. day 5: friends are cool.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mermista introduces her friends.

_Click._

"Welcome to the dumbass club. We all suffer here. Not all of us are here today so I'm just introducing half of the group."

"This is Adora. She's 16 years old. She's gay as hell. Fell into a dumpster in the back of a McDonald's."

"Did you really have to mention that, Mermista?"

"Yeah."

"Here we have Catra. She's a real life cat-"

"I'm not!"

"You purr. Anyways, she's gay as well. She isn't single though."

"Next, we have Perfuma."

"Hi!"

"She will date females that is tall and muscular. She smokes weed three days a week but she has a secret talent. She can hide when she's high and she somehow manages to hold in her anger."

"I learn from the best."

"Here's my niece, Frosta. She's 11 years old. We adopted her at the park a few months ago. What do you like to do?"

"Punch things with my fists!"

"You see, she's wonderful. You'll the rest of the group soon. Just be patient."

_Click._


	6. day 6: and all the love in the world.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mermista spends time with Lonnie and Sea Hawk downtown to check out the lights.

_Click._

"Okay, okay! So, Sea-Hawk is picking up me and Lonnie to go see the lights! I'm excited because I rarely see the lights downtown. Like, never in person. Always on a screen. Anyways, I'll see you guys later."

* * *

"Sea-Hawk never met the recorder. What're gonna say?"

"Hello, recorder! Mermista, Lonnie, and I are going on an adventure!"

"Lonnie, how do you feel?"

"Nervous. My mom never made time for me to see the lights. My first time seeing them."

_[Mermista kisses Lonnie on the cheek.]_

"The lights are beautiful, Lons. Your eyes will literally look like it's sparkling. And it's night. The lights are even more pretty."

"Mermista and her dearest. I knew you guys would make a great couple."

"Thanks, Sea-Hawk."

* * *

"You didn't tell me the lights were THIS bright. I'm going blind."

[ _Mermista and Sea-Hawk laugh.]_

"Once I think about it, the lights did get brighter this year. It looks like my last ship before I burned it."

"I forgot you burned ships."

_[There is a sound of running.]_

"I like your Mer-Mystery cosplay!"

"Thank you!"

"Do you mind if I take a picture?"

"Sure!"

[A camera clicks.]

"Thank you again!"

[Someone walks away. Sea-Hawk and Lonnie walks to Mermista.]

"Who was that?"

"A Mer-Mystery cosplayer! They cosplayed my favorite character in the whole franchise. I would literally die for Elaine Zukbeck. She's so relatable. I love her so much."

"Dearest, what's Mer-Mystery?"

"I was wondering the same thing."

"You DON'T know Mer-Mysteries?! It's like the greatest murder mystery book, show, comic, game out there! Mer-Mystery is like Scooby Doo if it wasn't made for kids. It has gore, sex, drama, and the murders are so guresome. The characters are AMAZING! And when they reveal the murderers, oh my god, it's so... GREAT! Elaine Zukbeck is one of the detective out of the four. Tony Lua is okay but lovable, Ruby Jones is snarky and mean unless you understand her backstory, Azari Willams is the calm and happy one. They're one of the many non-binary folks in the franchise. I need to catch you guys up. Sounds like a good idea? Okay, great!"


	7. day 7: things you like + distractions in your life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mermista list things she likes.
> 
> Tw: mentions of abuse.

"So, I forgot to turn off the recorder... Stupid of me."

_Click._

_Click._

"Now, that's settled. Here are some things I like. I'm going to talk about some things I like. 

First, I really like Mer-Mystery. There was one time where I read all the books in one whole night sleeping. I didn't even hear my dad calling me. I know it's unhealthy but my dad says as long as I'm leaving him alone, it's fine. I tried telling him about the books but... you know, issues. I almost got every book. I just need Mer-Mystery: The Dark Night and my collection is complete. I actually had it before. My dad ripped it up because my grades were 'unacceptable'. I got one F in math.

Anyways.

Second, this sounds so childish but I kinda... sorta... still like a kids show. Bratz. Don't judge me. The theme song is so catchy and... and... and... the... I forgot what I was about to say.

Third... third...

You guys met Frosta. right? I'm assuming you have. When I tell you, she can sing. Her voice is, like, so powerful. It's so good. She says she can't but she can. I was taking her to the mall because she was stressed. I handed her to AUX cord and she plays Reflections by Misterwives. That chorus hit... I thought I heard an angel. It's amazing. Why do children have to suffer? Just because you didn't have he childhood doesn't mean your child shouldn't. Like, Frosta is literally a kid. I just want to take her with me. A baby has to go to therapy because of her childhood. She isn't playing like a kid. Frosta's so talented and she doesn't even realize it. Nobody is telling her that she is and it just..."

_[Mermista cries then sniffles.]_

"Sorry about that. I love her so much."

_[Mermista takes a deep breath and exhales.]_

"What number am I on? Um, okay. So... five, Mara. You may ask 'Who's Mara?' Mara is my therapist. I got a new therapist and she's like, the best. I don't like my old therapist because she threaten to out me many times. Mara is lesbian. Turns out she has a wife and she adopted Adora. I know I didn't like therapy but she's the only one who's making it a bit better.

Six, this recorder.

Seven, cosplay. Wanna know a surprise? I cosplay. Mer-Mystery, Scooby Doo, Fullmetal Alchemist, Bratz, OCs, etc. Cosplay makes me feel special. Never had up balls to wear it out in public... WAIT. Okay, Lonnie and I still have our Bubblegum and Marceline cosplay. I was Marceline, she was Bubblegum. We should wear them out... YES! Sorry, moment there.

Eight, OC's. I have so many of them. Too many to name.

Nine, Dango... Dango... Danganrompa? I forgot how to pronounce it. I stayed up til 11 AM playing it. 

Ten-"

_[Mermista knocks over her plugged in space heater.]_

"Hold on."

_[The heater goes off, on, off, on, off, on, over again.]_

"My light changes."

_[On, off, on, off, on, off...]_

"I need to stop and focus... Number... number... number eleven, I think... I'm just going to end it right now because I don't know if it's normal to go off into space this much. I keep getting distracted and shit. I'll ask my therapist if she knows anything about what's happening... Anyways, night."

_Click._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: note to self: dont write a chapter when you're falling asleep bc you'll accidentally publish it.


	8. day 8: new years with loved ones.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mermista enters the New Year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new years!!!

_Click._

"I'm on a facetime call with Lons. Say hi."

"Hi."

"Now, her mom is asleep and my dad is asleep so we're celebrating together. Until the countdown starts, we're going to ask each other questions."

"First question, what was your favorite song during the whole year?"

"Bubblegum Bitch. Such a bop. Yours?"

"Honeybee."

"It sounds like a wedding song. A sappy wedding song."

"You always asking me to play it." 

"It doesn't mean I like it."

"We slow-danced to it. You like it."

"I did it because I felt like it."

"Okay, I like it a TINY bit."

"If the world was ending, would you save me or the town?"

"You."

"Why? Besides from 'I love you'."

"You're the only person who understands me. Nobody really cares about me."

"Your mom?"

"My mom doesn't care. My dad is deadbeat. Would you save the town or me?"

"You. My dad hates me. I do everything for him and he just acts like a toddler. If I don't something right, my mom would be disappointed. If I don't agree with him, I'm emotionless. He makes me feel so guilty for simple things. He's homophobic. He just-"

"Let it out, baby. Let it out."

"Can we change the question, Lonnie? Please."

"Alright. What's the dumbest question someone asked you?"

"Someone asked if I had lips before. I'm not even kidding. I was at a gas station and a dude came up to me and asked that."

"Wow. I know my mom got mad at me and said 'Who even raised you?' I was so confused."

"What's your favorite curse word?"

"Motherfucking/fucker."

"Fuck. My all time favorite word."

"What's your favorite movie of all time?"

"Ugh, it's so hard. I like Teen Witch."

"Men in Black. Actually, no. Black Knight."

"The one with Martin?"

"Yeah. It's like Modern meets Medieval. Funny as hell."

"Okay, Lons. What was our best kiss?"

"The makeout shesh we had before my mom came home. Yours?"

"My favorite was the one when we played in the rain."

"I liked that one too. How about the one during the 4th of July parade?"

"Yes! The pride one? We kissed in front of homophobes!"

"That was fucking amazing. We went as Bubblegum and Marceline that year."

"Do you still have your Bubblegum cosplay?"

"You know i do."

"That's good. I thought you would throw it away."

"Never! It's my first cosplay and my awesome girlfriend made it."

"And my little sour patch made the wigs."

"That name again?"

"You know you love it."

"Can I at least be Mike N Ike's?"

"Nope. Sour patch."

"Where you even get that name from?"

"You're sour to everyone but sweet to me."

_[Lonnie giggles.]_

"You're so corny."

"The corniest I can be. Should I call you my sugar pudding pop?"

"Sour Patch is better."

_[The girls sigh.]_

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"Lon, the countdown is starting!"

_[59. 58, 57, 56, 55, 54, 53, 52, 51, 50, 49, 48...]_

_[20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10...]_

"9."

"8."

"7."

"6."

"5."

"4."

"3."

"2."

"1! HAPPY NEW YEARS, BABY!"

_[There is sound of laughter and Mermista jumping on her bed.]_

"HAPPY NEW FUCKING YEARS! WOO!"

"I'm so happy right now. I wish I could kiss you!"

"Me too! Happy New Years, Lons."

"Happy New Years, baby."

_[The call ends.]_

* * *

_[A door creaks. Mermista kisses someone on the cheek and whispers.]_

_"Happy New Years, daddy."_

_Click._


	9. day 9: am i normal?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Mermista normal because of the things happening to her?

_Click._

"When I was younger, I threw a lot of fits. Mainly ones that were meaningless. But, there was a time in my life when I just didn’t stop crying unless I saw it. My dad and I went to Walmart to grab a couple of things for Mother’s day. This was when my mom was alive. I was four years old. We were walking past the TV section to get something. I’m just gonna say roses. There was this woman on the TV who looked exactly like my mom. It was a 14 second commercial. II ran back to the TV’’s and when I was about to say ‘hi’ the commercial went off. My dad saw me crying because my ‘mom’ left. I screamed at the workers to turn the commercial back on because I thought the innocent employees had control of the TV. Now, my dad had to control a screaming, crying four year old rolling on the floor. This happened every time we went to Walmart. Nowhere else. Just Walmart. I HAD to see that commercial every time it came on or I would throw a fit. It kept happening until I turned 7. Is that weird? You know, many weird things have been happening to me. I cry over… simple things, my room is a mess, everything is disorganized, I’m forgetting everything, I daydream, I can’t pay attention, and other things. It’s just weird. This has been happening ever since I was 3. Is it normal to twitch or rock when you’re stressed? Why do I still rub the soft silky things on clothes? Why do I cry over little things? I literally threw my alarm clock at the fucking wall because I couldn’t get it to turn on and started crying. Why? I feel like I have something. I shouldn’t be doing things like this. I shouldn’t be off in space.. Why? That’s all I’m asking. I don’t think I’ll ever be normal.. Not today, not ever."

_Click._

**Author's Note:**

> i accept construct crit. comments are lit so drop some! i like to know that im writing to an audience!


End file.
